Un-Say-What?

I apologize in advance for still sipping the fast food ad haterade (or is it just "H" now since the sports drink abbreviated itself to "G?"). But I saw this ridiculous new ad for KFC slamming Subway. WTF? I mean the only connection I can think of between the two is that maybe eating buckets upon buckets of fried chicken is how Jared gained all that weight in the first place?

The commercial has like three business guys eating lunch. The one guy eating the sub is being taunted by the other two for only getting a sub-par sandwich (chips and drink not included) for 5 dollars. Then the KFC advocate says something like "Yea look at what I get for 5 bucks: two pieces of chicken, mashed potatoes dripping with gravy, a biscuit dripping with butter and a large soda...and love handles and a spare tire and a future heart attack." Only FIVE DOLLARS for all that!? Ok so I might have paraphrased a bit. But come on! They actually managed to make the tagline worse than it already is: "Taste the unsub side." (This is like the antithesis of one of my favorite fast food tags "Think outside the bun.").




And what better way to promote their new image than with this "Grillz" app. I can't put my finger on it, but this has gotta be borderline racist somehow... buckets of chicken...bad grammar...sparkly dental accessories...lol. I think braces are a better investment, but that's just me.

There are two things I REFUSE to work on: KFC and Cigarettes. But speaking of fake health, I'm watching a Colbert Report rerun right now so I'm in actually in a good mood. :)

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Commonsense Health Care Reform Infomercial
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Mark Sanford

Even Stephen mocks advertising! "A gabazillion dollars?!...Just 4 easy payments of we-have-no-idea-99!"

Monday Mirecommendations Vol III

It's Monday again already?! Well I have good news and more good news. The monologue went well, kind of. I got "nearly an A+" for content (not bad for an art director) but a B- for presentation because I can't freakin' quit laughing. But it's hard for me not to laugh when other people are laughing, which is the whole point of stand-up. So it's a mixed bag.

Last week for the class we had to sit in front of the class and be thoroughly yet anonymously judged by our peers. G Michael typed everything up and read us our alphabetical results this week.

Here were some of my favorites:
"Sunshine"
"Sweet Bangs"
"Piercing Fest"
"Cheerful person portrayed by clean wardrobe"
"Looks like she came from a plantation"
"Needs to do something or she may lose it and go nuts"
"Easily Amused" and "Easter colored"
And the two adjectives that apparently describe me best are "tan"and "blonde." No surprise there.

So onto the recommendation. I found this sweet pair of chopsticks in the desk drawer at my cubicle today. They were for this local restaurant called Sushi Maki which comes highly recommended by my co-workers. Partly because the sushi is good and because it is open late and delivers when you are trying to meet a deadline. I take their word about the quality part. I think sushi tastes like sea barf.

FUN WITH CHOPSTICKS -or- (WHAT NOT TO DO ON A DATE)









[The Walrus, El Diablo, The Fu Manchu, The Donkey, My Favorite Martian]

On the reverse side:

WARNING: Professional Chopstick Stunt People were used for the drawings above. In real life, chop sticks are dangerous - even lethal in a ninja warrior's hands. You could poke your eye out, or tear your rotator cuff or something. So our lawyers tell us that we have to warn you that they can be dangerous and cause serious physical harm if you use them for anything but eating. Sushi Maki is not liable for any damage or harm that may come to you from the improper handling of these utensils. Parents, watch your children closely and please exercise caution. Or just ask for a fork. Which could be dangerous too, we guess. Eating with your hands would be safe, but messy. Good luck.

Proof that you can make anything creative; even packaging for a mundane pair of Asian eating tools. I'm kind of infatuated with the copy. And the design isn't bad either. The website is very nice and check out this Get out of hunger free card:

Good Taste in Advertising

Being in advertising is probably going to send me to Hell, the first (and probably not the last) reason of which is it made me break my Lenten discipline that I just mentioned in my post yesterday. But this idea was worth it. And the chocolate was really small. LoL.

This chick Danielle Saltrese thought it would be a cool idea to make really weird flavors of chocolate, send them to major agencies in mystery boxes, and see how many people correctly guessed the flavors. Even though I'm still just an intern, I got to play!




Look! It matches my outfit!






No idea what my flavor was. It kind of tasted like flowers.




I was wrong. It was the taste of basil. And failure.



You can see the live results at Agency Taste. It will be more interesting once (or if) the other agencies participate.

Sweetness

So I discovered these at Whole Foods recently because I had to satisfy my sweet tooth despite the face that I gave up chocolate for Lent. Let me introduce you to QB's, the All natural crispy treat filled with ice cream." Although upon sampling, I wouldn't use the adjective "crispy." The texture is more chewy, then creamy, or melty, depending on how long it takes you to eat it.

So why are these frozen snacks named after an abbreviated position in football? What is the purpose of these snacks, as it would appear in the dictionary? What do these treats like to do in their spare time? I'm glad you asked. Just refer to the amazingly awesome back of the box.



QB n. (cube-EE): An all natural cube shaped ice cream treat that satisfies the taste buds and makes you smile.

Well there you go. I just can't get over the copy.

So they come in three flavors, Dave, Suzy Cube and Esquivel. What the eff kind of name is Esquivel?! It almost as bad a Gerbie! (Only a few people will understand that reference). And why is he removing his crispy garment?

I guess in addition to lewd and lascivious acts of exhibitionism, Esquivel enjoys extreme activities and high action sports. But chillin' is a definite must. That's not contradictory. And what the eff kind of sports would a crispy covered block of ice cream participate in? I guess they would have to be winter sports. Maybe he uses those popsicle sticks with those really bad jokes on them as snowboards.

And for some reason, my treats are trying to escape out of the right side of the box! Or maybe they're just being exposed to intrigue people. Again with the exhibitionism! Come to think of it, I think I saw Paul Reubens endorsing them in a commercial recently.



I think the contemplative king in the top left corner sums it all up: QB's or not QB's? There is no question.

Yummy Bubbies

I discovered these at Whole Foods a couple weeks ago. They are hella expensive, probably because they have to stay frozen all the way from Hawaii to here.



Bubbies are basically ice cream surrounded by a soft, chewy shell made from rice. My friend Aiden said these things originated in Asia (like one of my other favorite treats, Bubble/Boba Tea!). I've tried the vanilla and lychee flavors and they are both fantastic.



If you are ever in Honolulu, you can check out one of their yummy boutiques, which have very creative names for their frozen treats.

Best Pie Chart Ever

mmm, pie!
[reminds me of a great inside joke. lol]
found this via digg.

my pei wei plug

ok time for a blatant endorsement. pei wei asian diner is pretty much the best asian food i have ever eaten! it's surprisingly healthy, fast and cheap. everyone wins! find a location near you and tell me i'm not right. i recommend the tofu and veggies lo mein.
oh yea, their website design is pretty sick too.