Un-Say-What?

I apologize in advance for still sipping the fast food ad haterade (or is it just "H" now since the sports drink abbreviated itself to "G?"). But I saw this ridiculous new ad for KFC slamming Subway. WTF? I mean the only connection I can think of between the two is that maybe eating buckets upon buckets of fried chicken is how Jared gained all that weight in the first place?

The commercial has like three business guys eating lunch. The one guy eating the sub is being taunted by the other two for only getting a sub-par sandwich (chips and drink not included) for 5 dollars. Then the KFC advocate says something like "Yea look at what I get for 5 bucks: two pieces of chicken, mashed potatoes dripping with gravy, a biscuit dripping with butter and a large soda...and love handles and a spare tire and a future heart attack." Only FIVE DOLLARS for all that!? Ok so I might have paraphrased a bit. But come on! They actually managed to make the tagline worse than it already is: "Taste the unsub side." (This is like the antithesis of one of my favorite fast food tags "Think outside the bun.").




And what better way to promote their new image than with this "Grillz" app. I can't put my finger on it, but this has gotta be borderline racist somehow... buckets of chicken...bad grammar...sparkly dental accessories...lol. I think braces are a better investment, but that's just me.

There are two things I REFUSE to work on: KFC and Cigarettes. But speaking of fake health, I'm watching a Colbert Report rerun right now so I'm in actually in a good mood. :)

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Commonsense Health Care Reform Infomercial
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Mark Sanford

Even Stephen mocks advertising! "A gabazillion dollars?!...Just 4 easy payments of we-have-no-idea-99!"

Wendy's is waaaay overdue

It's about time Wendy's started looking for a new ad agency! According to the AP and BusinessWeek, the company is "reevaluating its advertising and advertising and marketing stratey," which has been driven lately by KBP (kirshenbaum bond + partners). The campaign is so schizo and outrageously aspirational. "Its waaaay better than fast food?" No, I'm sorry. You ARE just fast food. And you're not even the best - you are number three. And spelling it with 4 a's makes it even worse. (However, I do occasionally crave your fries and a frosty to dip them in).

I remember in Boulder I heard this one radio commercial so many times that I wanted to rip my radio out of the car, and then run over it repeatedly. It sounded like they recycled it from 1952 and included retroish writing gems such as "peppy little dynamos" and "no one wants to spend the day in blahsville."

The ads are all over the place, like the aftermath of a watermelon dropped off the balcony of a penthouse apartment. Threeconomics here, Frosty boys there and wannabe gourmet everywhere else.



No sir, I do not want to get 'frosty' with you.





Whyyyy is the type all skewed? It irks me.

There's waaaay more where this came from on the Wendy's website.

I do have to give a few props to the agency website, though. I think they do some cool stuff for other brands.

KWTFC

So apparently Oprah is partnering with Colonel Sanders to give away free meals from KFC.



My bad. I guess they are KGC now. Besides the fact that I'm vegetarian, this is a bunch of Kentucky Fried Crap.

The food is still not that good for you and they have some of the worst factory farming practices in the industry. I won't even eat the non-meat items at that place after visiting Kentucky Fried Cruelty.


Make your own KFC sign at KentuckyFriedCruelty.com

Not to mention this whole "Unthink" campaign is pretty much a rip-off of Saturn's Rethink campaign.

Music Mess

My credit card hasn't had a workout in a while, so I couldn't resist when I had to head out to Dadeland Mall for a Genius Bar appointment. Most of the damage was done at Sephora, Abercrombie and Macy's.

I got grabbed walking through the middle of Macy's make-up land by the Benefit beauticians and got a "free" cosmetic consultation, or cosmetation (b/c I like to make up words). I really like some of the packaging design, each one is different and reflects the mood of the product. However, the "beauty book" publication they gave me was ironically ugly.


(This photoshop fairytale does not have a happy ending.)


Anyways, driving back to the beach I continued my quest for a decent radio station to listen to. About half of them aren't in English, so those are out. A bunch are like R&B babymaking music, and that's not happening in my car, literally or figuratively. So that leaves the 80's and light rock stations, which I maybe like 1 out of every 7 songs played and the Pop Station which is the most decent of the ones I've discovered but still hit or miss.

Today was mostly misses. There are some songs that trigger my gag reflex and I have to switch the station hastily before I asphyxiate. So please remember never to play any of these in my presence.



"Strumming My Pain" by the Fugees. Bleh- starting to cough just typing it.
"Not Gonna write you a Love Song" by Sara Barealleslalasses
"Hey There Delilah" by the Plain White Tees
"Your Body is a Wonderland" by John Mayer. Actually, I hate anything by John Mayer. And anything that sounds like John Mayer. What a douche.
Anything by the Donnas. or that Michelle Branch chick. Not to be a traitor to my gender, but there are very few girls that can be legit rock stars.
"Sitting, Waiting, Wishing" by Jack Johnson. Keep it at the coffeehouse, buddy.
"These Words" and "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield (Although she's really pretty and I like her style)

Oh, and Britney Spears' latest release "If You Seek Amy" is possibly one of the worst songs ever written/recorded. However, that did not keep me from downloading it anyways. If you're in a musically masochistic mood, here's a link to the video. How surprising, more "orgyography" (choreography that reminds me of a massive orgy).




Other than all that, I'm pretty eclectic. LoL.

Now it's time to pop a few painkillers and hit the couch to tune in for a Tarheels victory!!!

WTF

What...the...facebook?

I find it ironic that the basic idea of twitter is facebook statuses with a character limit, and now facebook is attempting to turn itself into twitter. I hate it. It's like social network incest.
Pretty soon its just going to be one big myfacetwitbookspacer and it will be directly wired to your brain like the matrix so your statuses will be updated as soon as you think them.



Facebook has progressively been sucking more and more. I just have too many friends and photo tags to get rid of it.

Photoshop Fail

This screencap has been sitting idle on my desktop for a while. I saw this ad on Pandora and probably didn't even need to save it because the images are so bad that they are forever burned into my subconscious.



It's pretty much one of the worst design jobs I have ever seen! The mohawk and glasses are masked really horribly and the type kind of makes me want to gag. It's a big random mess of vector and rasterized images that don't go together at all. And you gotta love the default photoshop brush action and fake-blur effects. The thing that irks me the most is that there are like 3 different logos battling it out.

I could keep going and going and going on about how bad this ad is, but obviously the image speaks for itself.

britney's back

..to the same old routine. check out her terrible new song and video to go with it. it's like a bad, remixed rip off of 'toxic' and 'i'm a slave for you.' not to mention the puddle-deep lyrics and stuttering, over-synthesized 'singing.'

come on. does she really need to be naked in a sauna? at least the guy is decent eye candy.

these ads have de-volved

ok i absolutely hate these ads. first of all, it's not that creative. the evolution thing has been done so, so many times. and, i don't think its a good idea to call your potential customers fat whales, pigs and cows. what is wrong with these people at propaganda in bucharest, romania?